the Blacklight Arrow

David Blacker’s Blog

Weeding the Tigers Out of Monaragala

Having a quiet shot at the Golf Club last evening, the conversation turned (as it invariably does) to The War. And of course, grass. One has to be obviously well stoned to enjoy a proper war, as anyone who’s read Michael Herr or seen Tim Page’s work will testify. Weeks of night patrols around Vasavilan and Elephant Pass have taught me, however, that speed isn’t the dope of choice. Benz & dex just get the katussas to turn and wink at you, and make you think you can bite the nose off a Tiger at three-hundred meters. Let’s not even go near the non-prescription stuff. Nope, grass it is.

Now all of you must be wondering what this has to do with Monaragala, but as you well know, most of our grass comes from Thanamalwila. And where’s Thanamalwila? You guessed it — Monaragala. Now is it just me, or has anyone else heard that a couple of days ago, the Army shot a ganja cultivator dead while looking for the Tigers. Said he was acting suspiciously. Fucking right, he was. Wouldn’t you act suspiciously if you had a couple of acres of MJ in the back garden? Anyway, I think something better be done about those Tigers before the local dealers start pushing up their prices and blaming it on the war.

And what better way of smoking ’em out than all that nice green grass? I think the Army should just burn it all (while standing upwind of course). If the Tigers aren’t actually roasted in the fire, they’ll be so happy and high that they won’t be shooting cops and chopping up farmers anymore. Heck, we could even load ’em all up with rucksacks full of the shit and send ’em back to Kilinochchi. A few tokes of that and the Imran Paandiyan will be all smiles. We could just walk in and nail VP.

Chemical warfare, you say? Roll on, I say.

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January 24, 2008 - Posted by | War | , , , , , ,

11 Comments »

  1. Hey David, brilliant idea. Any hope on getting inside info if and when this could possibly take place? I am due to be in Monaragala on Sunday!

    Comment by javajones | January 24, 2008 | Reply

  2. Chemical warfare? More like herbal warfare no?

    Comment by rajivmw | January 24, 2008 | Reply

  3. What a waste of good bud? No terrorist deserves to ‘go’ in such a blissful manner. They wont feel a thing after that buzz..

    I’m sure you’ve seen this

    Comment by Hilal | January 24, 2008 | Reply

  4. Hmm…I spent a couple of months out in Moneragala once…and smoked a fair amount of weed…never realized that most of what we hvae in Colombo originated from there. It was actually relatively good…not kush…but still good.

    Comment by N | January 24, 2008 | Reply

  5. Hello David,
    Afghan troops have a similar problem!
    One soldier told : “Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I’d say ‘That damn marijuana’.”
    Yes 10 foot marijuana plants hindering war on terror.
    http://weseepeople.blogspot.com/2006/10/why-afgan-war-is-so-difficult.html

    Comment by voipniche | January 26, 2008 | Reply

  6. David,
    Interesting post!

    Just started reading ‘Dispatches’.

    Did not remember where I had heard the title of the book before until I came to the ‘Blacklight Arrow’ quote here!!

    Keep up the writing!!!

    Cheers

    Asanga

    Comment by Asanga | January 27, 2008 | Reply

  7. always figured soldiers used speed because its a sleep killer.

    Comment by jiffy | January 30, 2008 | Reply

  8. Yes, they do. But when you take too much of it, you can hallucinate.

    Comment by David Blacker | January 31, 2008 | Reply

  9. smoke weed & die!!..yea..interestin concept,we gotta increase our weed farming,i say-make it like afghanistan’s national CROP,for instance..lolz

    Comment by Rifard | February 13, 2008 | Reply

  10. I can tell that this is not the first time at all that you write about this topic. Why have you decided to write about it again?

    Comment by Ted Burrett | April 24, 2009 | Reply

    • Write about what again?

      Comment by David Blacker | April 24, 2009 | Reply


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